Hardy Har Har

While I certainly do NOT appreciate my body's sense of humor, I still must deal with it.

Once a week, I have to bleach the area under my nose,otherwise I'll end up looking like Mario from the Nintendo games.

Once a month, I have to dye my roots, otherwise look like I've got white and gray tentacles coming from the top of my head.

Twice a day, I have to apply moisturizer to my hands, arms, feet and legs, otherwise I'll look like an iguana trying to shed it's scales.

Once a day, I have to shampoo and condition my hair, otherwise I'll wake up looking like a horse used it's tongue to spread mayonaisse all over my head.