Thursday, December 4, 2008

Would You Like Fries With That

My office is having their annual Christmas party in 2 weeks at a nice country club. I don't have "country club" attire that I feel is passable for said party. So I have been browsing and looking online for clothes that would do the trick that night.

I don't already own "party attire" because I have so many other things to spend money on and RARELY, RARELY do I go anywhere I need to look better than in a nice pair of pants or jeans and a nice blouse.

Sadly, work clothes won't cut it either in this case. Most of my work wardrobe is becoming, how shall I say this...worn out and ill-fitting. You see, I hate to shop for clothes for myself. I watch Clinton and Stacy on "What Not To Wear" all the time and pray every single night that someone who cares about me will nominate me for televised humiliation, just so I can get that $5,000 brand new wardrobe!

I am a big girl and I can't pop into any little ol boutique or store in the mall for a cutie-pie dress.

Not these thighs, not these hips, not these boobs and CERTAINLY NOT this ass.

Which brings me to today's rant: Why do fashion designers feel the need to shove loud and ugly clothing down the throats of bigger-sized women? Do they honestly believe that since we obviously can't control our weight and size, that we won't give a damn about the clothes that cover our rolls?

And by we, I'm really meaning ME.

I think the clothes that I'm finding online are horrendous looking, over-priced and probably shoddily made. NOT to mention that hardly a single model for most of these places are NOT size 14 or higher. NO WAY JOSE, you can't make me believe it.

Take this chicka for instance:

She's modeling some loungewear that's on sale at a BIG name retailer for plus size women. See those clavical bones PROTRUDING out there? See that tiny waist? She's not a big girl.

Why would I want to see how these clothes are going to fit on her, when I'm trying to imagine how they're going to drape miserable over my rolls of fat? It's just not going to work.

Clothing store owners hear this: Do not hire buyers for your store who go looking for the tired, old crap that you think no one is going to realize makes them look like they escaped from the crazy tiki hut, or Omar's tent shop. And hire some models who look like the women whose money you're trying to get.

We really do care about our presentation, even if you think our bodies tell a different story.

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